


Sincerely, Gabriel

by frumious_bandersnatch



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abandonment, Angst, Gen, Loss, M/M, Suicide, oof, this is an old fic sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2021-01-24 12:29:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21338263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frumious_bandersnatch/pseuds/frumious_bandersnatch
Summary: Angst! Buckets of it!
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester/Gabriel
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	Sincerely, Gabriel

The letter appeared on the kitchen table that morning. Neither Sam nor Dean paid any mind to it- both assumed it was meant for the other. It was, of course, your standard envelope. Crisp, white, and just a little crinkled. It was sealed with a small piece of tape. After sitting there for a day, still unopened, Dean finally picked it up and turned it over in his hands. It smelled faintly of chocolate. Dean furrowed his brow and gingerly pulled off the square of tape, taking out a folded piece of lined paper and opening it. The paper was crinkled, and stained with old tears. Dean sighed and started to read.

'Dear Sam and Dean,' it read, 'I do not know when this will reach you. Hell, I don't even know if this will reach you. I am writing to you three days before I fight with my brother. I know what's going to happen...I looked ahead and I wish I didn't. Consider this a suicide note of sorts. I want to say I'm sorry. I put you boys through so much you did not deserve.' The handwriting was getting shaky. 'I want to thank you, as well. You've helped me to see so much, to finally stop running away and for once to actually do something. I wish that we could have more time together. I wish that I had enjoyed it while it lasted. Truth be told, I'm scared. I'm terrified. The last thing I want is to fight with my brother, to die. No one wants to die. I am no exception. I hope it doesn't hurt.' There were a few smudges. He had been crying when he wrote this. 'Secondly, Sam, I've always been fond of you. Since I first saw you. Hell, I even loved you. I'm sorry that I could never say it to your face. I'm so so sorry. And Dean...say something to Cas. For me. Call it my dying wish.   
Sincerely, Gabriel'

Dean read the letter, furrowing his brow in disbelief. He read it several times before it finally sank in. "Oh my god..." He muttered and set it down almost reverently, running a hand through his hair. Dean sighed and picked it back up, carefully folding into quarters and smoothing it out. He walked out to the library, clearing his throat and looking down at Sam.

"Sam....come over here." He sighed softly. "You'll want to see this."

Sam took a scrap of paper out of his pocket, and shoved it in the heavy volume he had been reading. He got to his feet and smoothed out his shirt, looking over at Dean. "What is it?" He raised a brow and walked over. He paused when he saw Dean's expression, tilting his head to the side. "What happened?"

"Just read it." Dean sighed and handed Sam the letter.

Sam took the letter and unfolded it, slowly reading over the text. His eyes widened and he let out a sigh, tearing up. He let out a shaky chuckle, his hands shaking. He looked back over at Dean and then back down at the letter, folding it back up. "I.... I need some time alone. Please."

Dean nodded and took the paper from his brother, running a hand through his hair. Sam stalked off to his room, gently shutting the door behind him.

Months had passed, and the situation was no better. Gabriel's letter had shaken the brothers to the core, giving an unexpected and emotional blow. In the meantime, Dean had hooked up with Castiel, showing his love for the angel every day in every endearing way. Sam had spiraled into a depression, rivaling the state he had been in after Jess. He had nightmares, and rarely left his room. He hadn't talked to Dean in weeks. Both Dean and Castiel had slowly started ignoring the taller hunter, paying his piteous condition no mind.

Dean pulled Castiel into a hug, grinning down at the angel. Castiel smiled softly, looking up at his hunter.

"I love you." Dean mumbled, pulling Castiel closer and peppering small kisses along his jaw. Castiel chuckled softly and kissed Dean chastely on the lips, carding a hand through the taller man's hair.

Five minutes later, the two were a tangle of limbs on Dean's bed, engaged in the most important and intimate act two people can perform; their clothes tossed to the side and neglected. Their bout of passion was interrupted by a loud bang, a gunshot, from the other room.

Dean instantly pulled away from Castiel, jumping to his feet. "Cas?" He said, his voice tinged with worry. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew what had happened, but he refused to acknowledge it. He pulled on his robe and ran to the main room, shortly followed by Castiel.

Dean burst into his brother's room, not even bothering to knock. He was met with a harrowing sight.

Sam was collapsed on the floor, a pistol still clutched in his hand. Blood pooled around his head like a mock halo, and his glassy eyes stared up at the ceiling, lifeless. On his bed was the letter from Gabriel, received so many months ago.

Dean gasped and held up a hand, his eyes brimming with tears. "Sammy-" He murmured, falling to his knees.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for subjecting you to this.


End file.
